Grandpa's Eulogy

This past Saturday I had the privilege of speaking at my Grandfather’s funeral. Several people who couldn’t attend the service asked me for a copy of the eulogy and I thought that some of you might like to read what I had to say about my namesake. My hope is that his life will encourage you in some way and that maybe you can learn a little more about him.

Good morning. On behalf of our family, I would like to thank everyone for being here to pay tribute to my Grandfather, Al Petri, and honor the life and legacy that he leaves behind.

In 1963, after a church bombing in Birmingham, Alabama, Dr. Martin Luther King gave the eulogy at the funeral for three of the children that had died in the explosion. Now, Grandpa doesn’t have much in common with school kids from the 1960’s, but there is much of what Dr. King said then that can really speak to us today, Listen as I read a few of the words Dr. King spoke that September day:

May I now say a word to you, members of the bereaved family? It is almost impossible to say anything that can console you at this difficult hour and remove the deep clouds of disappointment which are floating in your mental skies. But I hope you can find a little consolation from the universality of this experience. Death comes to every individual. There is an amazing democracy about death. It is not aristocracy for some of the people, but a democracy for all of the people. Kings die and beggars die; rich men and poor men die; old people die and young people die. Death comes to the innocent and it comes to the guilty. Death is the irreducible common denominator of all men.

I hope you can find some consolation from Christianity's affirmation that death is not the end. Death is not a period that ends the great sentence of life, but a comma that punctuates it to more lofty significance. Death is not a blind alley that leads the human race into a state of nothingness, but an open door which leads man into life eternal. Let this daring faith, this great invincible surmise, be your sustaining power during these trying days. Now I say to you, life is hard, at times as hard as steel. It has its bleak and difficult moments. Like the ever-flowing waters of the river, life has its moments of drought and its moments of flood. Like the ever-changing cycle of the seasons, life has the soothing warmth of its summers and the piercing chill of its winters. And if one will hold on, he will discover that God walks with him, and that God is able to lift you from the fatigue of despair to the buoyancy of hope, and transform dark and desolate valleys into sunlit paths of inner peace.

We couldn’t have done any better. My dad said that the other day, after Grandpa died. We couldn’t have done any better. I think what Dad was saying was that we couldn’t have asked God to give us a better husband, or father, stepfather, grandfather, uncle, or friend. Grandpa was as good as it gets, God really gave us the best.

Grandpa and I had many parallels in our lives and the most obvious one is probably our name. He was the first Al Petri and I am the last. What many of you may not know is that both of us started life with different names than we have now. Grandpa was born in South Bend, Indiana February 26, 1918 but he wasn’t named Alexander. My wife Debbie discovered that fact a few years ago while doing some genealogy research. She asked Grandpa about it, and sure enough, he was recorded in the South Bend County Records as Joseph Petri, Jr. Soon after he was born Grandma Petri had second thoughts about his name and she renamed him Alexander Zolton.

44 years later, on July 9th, 1962, I was born. My mom and dad had decided to name me David. Dad had left the hospital, and the paperwork for my birth certificate had not been filled out yet. So, Grandpa went to visit mom and me after dad had left the hospital. Now, if you knew Grandpa at all, you would understand how difficult it was for my mom to refuse to change my name; you see, my birthday just happened to be Grandma & Grandpa’s 24th wedding anniversary. Grandpa had all the leverage he needed to convince mom to see things his way.

Grandpa did many things in his life; he was an entrepreneur that started his own business, one that is still going today, sixty years later. He was a concerned citizen that had a successful career as a politician, he was a state representative, a city councilman, and he really enjoyed his time in politics. What can you say about his life, a life that was 88 years long and lived so fully?

When I first began to think about what I would say this morning, I thought about telling you a particular story or two about Grandpa, maybe sharing with you the details of a vacation trip or conversation that I had enjoyed with him. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt that I should talk about the kind of man that he was, and the example that he was to us. So, I am not going to stand up here and talk about the facts of Grandpa’s life, the things that he did, or the jobs that he held. I know that many of you have special memories of Grandpa, and I encourage you to share those memories with each other, give us more insight into the life of this man that we all loved so much.

Grandpa was a family man, who taught us values and ethics, and he also taught us to love God. He was always there when you needed him, whether it was with timely advice, a word of encouragement, or just to lend a listening ear. Even if you hadn’t asked for it, he’d be glad to give you his opinion on how, or what you were doing. And you could always be sure that if you didn’t know who to vote for, he would provide a word of advice for that as well!

Grandpa was intelligent; in fact, he was one of the smartest men that I ever knew. He graduated High School while most of the kids his age were finishing junior high. He taught us to think things through, to study, and he encouraged us to learn and be informed about the things that were going on in the world and in our communities.

Grandpa was compassionate and caring. He loved people. He contributed to many charities and he spent time doing service work in order to make his community a better place to live. He worked with many civic and business organizations on fundraisers, raffles, and supported many of the local kids’ sports teams throughout the years.

Grandpa was a man of ethics and moral principals. While he was a councilman in Ecorse many years ago, there was a wave of corruption that surrounded the city government. Grandpa received death threats from some of his political opponents and the family even had to move out of the house for awhile. Everyone was under investigation, and many councilmen and other city officials were recalled or resigned, but Grandpa had done nothing illegal or improper. He was one of the few people in the city whose reputation wasn’t tainted by the scandal. He always believed in what he was doing and he believed in doing it with honesty and integrity.

Grandpa was a family man. He loved his family and he did everything he could to provide for and protect them. He worked long hours, especially when he was gone to Lansing during his time as a State Representative. But he never missed a game that my dad or my uncles played in, even if that meant driving from Lansing, watching the game, then turning right around and heading back to the state capitol. From family trips to holiday get togethers, Grandpa was always there. He took us to Florida, to Colorado and Arizona, to the Grand Canyon and so much more. He showed us what it truly meant to love your family, to honor and care for your spouse, and to believe in and support your children. He was the patriarch of the Petri family for nearly 70 years.

Grandpa was a man of God. He cared deeply about his commitment to his church, and he served the Lord here at St. Francis for many, many years. So, here we are, gathered together not to mourn the death of Al Petri, but to celebrate the life that he so richly lived. He was a man that we all loved, that we learned from, and that we cared deeply for. Let’s remember fondly the things about Grandpa that bring a smile to our faces, and look forward to the day when we are reunited with him in heaven.

In his poem entitled “Success”, Robert Louis Stevenson could have been speaking of Grandpa when he wrote:

He has achieved success who has lived well,
laughed often, and loved much;
who has enjoyed the trust of pure women,
the respect of intelligent men
and the love of little children;
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
who has left the world better than he found it
whether by an improved poppy,
a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;
who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty
or failed to express it;
who has always looked for the best in others
and given them the best he had;
whose life was an inspiration;
whose memory, a benediction.

So, I say again, we couldn’t have done any better. Grandpa was as good as it gets. And I am so grateful for that day in July 1962, when Grandpa convinced my mom to change my name. I am honored to share the same name as Grandpa. I hope that one day I can grow up to be half the man that he was.